


remember that i told you (i'll find my way back home)

by dracometria



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous Setup, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Fanservice, M/M, Pepero Game, Pocky Game, all x huening kai, also boys in love but some are slower to realize than others, beomgyu refuses to participate in mint chocolate crime, by some i mean huening kai, give it up for our gay little yearner, huening kai has a lot of feelings and is trying his best, the beomkai fakeout, yeonjun keeps reminding him it's choco mint but beomgyu does not care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27510955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracometria/pseuds/dracometria
Summary: “We’re going to end up kissing, aren’t we,” Kai murmurs as an afterthought.
Relationships: All/Huening Kai, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 182





	remember that i told you (i'll find my way back home)

**Author's Note:**

> still can't believe i technically still finished this on time for pocky/pepero day. unbeta'd per usual so will probably fix things as i see them when i reread this later but right now i am Very tired and will be going to sleep (there is more of my sleep-deprived rambling than normal)
> 
> *take note of tags, while you can choose to read this as sookai-lean, it's definitely more all x hyuka than my last fic ~  
> *everyone slightly aged up 1-2 years because i feel like it fits better that way. more time for yearning 
> 
> **reminder/disclaimer that these fictional characters are in no way shape or form meant to reflect the members in real life**

Kai buries his face in his hands. He knew his rotten luck would bite him in the ass one day. He’s drawn the short straw, which means he’s going first. 

“What’s this?” Yeonjun teases. “No way. Are you shy?” The playful tap on his butt does nothing to alleviate Kai’s stress. 

“I hate being the test subject,” Kai whines as Yeonjun rifles through the boxes. A familiar green color catches his attention. “Wait, is that mint choco?” 

“Technically, we’re both first,” Yeonjun says dryly as he plucks out the box Kai pointed out. He hums. “I thought so, I didn’t think Pepero made mint choco. It’s the other brand.” 

Kai screws up his face as he rests his chin on Yeonjun’s shoulder. “Yeah, but you’re not really fazed by this sort of thing.” 

“This sort of thing?” Yeonjun says in quiet amusement as Kai’s hand slides down to his stomach, breath close to his ear, almost ticklish. “I think you would be very good at ‘this sort of thing’.” Before Kai can protest, Yeonjun turns his cheek and blows him an air kiss. Kai barely flinches, which Yeonjun thinks is a good measure of growth in comparison to how flustered he used to get. 

“Ugh, hyung, the game hasn’t even started yet.” He takes the Choco Mint Pocky and starts unboxing it. “Can we try this?” 

“Of course. I’m excited to see what it tastes like.” 

“We’re going to end up kissing, aren’t we,” Kai murmurs as an afterthought. 

“Yes,” Yeonjun says, nodding. He smiles wickedly. “Don’t forget there’s a camera.” 

_“Don’t forget there’s a camera,”_ Kai parrots in a caricature of the older’s voice. “They’ll probably have to edit a lot of it anyway.” 

“I’ll count on the others to be responsible,” Yeonjun says mock-gravely, and Kai giggles before flashing the Pocky stick to the unfortunate soul who’s filming today. 

“We’re ready~” 

The setup is simple enough. Kai rests his arms politely on Yeonjun’s shoulders, but Yeonjun swiftly corrects that by dragging them down to his waist in a smooth movement. Kai raises his eyebrows and squeezes. 

“Like I said,” Yeonjun says smugly, “you’ll be good at this.” He chuckles. “I can’t wait to watch the footage. Want to make a bet on who can get the most kisses, Haribo?” 

“I don’t think that’s the point,” Kai says, but he sounds more curious than exasperated. “I thought we only get points if we _don’t_ kiss.” 

Yeonjun shrugs flippantly. “Anything for the fans.” 

“Shut up.” Kai laughs this time. Yeonjun balances the Pocky between his teeth and offers up the other end to Kai. They’re close. Yeonjun’s eyes are half-lidded and full of promise. They’re close, Kai thinks again, but they were closer that night in LA. 

Kai bites the other end, careful to keep the biscuit-stick in his mouth, even when Yeonjun places a hand against the nape of his neck. No sense in losing this early; he retaliates by tugging on his half-ponytail. 

“Pretty,” Yeonjun says before Kai can, reading him easily as always. It’s hard to talk around the Pocky melting in his mouth, but Kai manages, somehow. 

“Not as pretty as you,” he manages, a textbook Yeonjun line. A bit basic, but Kai figures there’s not much room for more conversation, not with the way the Pocky is quickly disappearing between them. There’s maybe half an inch left of space before their mouths touch, and it’s a precarious balance to keep for the camera. A smirk plays across Yeonjun’s lips, and Kai knows any sort of teasing or goading is pointless, so he doesn’t even try, just resigns himself to his fate and lets his eyes flutter shut. 

The pressure of Yeonjun’s lips against his is feather-light, barely touching, and probably that way on purpose; because immediately after the director says “cut”, he turns them around until Kai’s back faces the camera, leaving Yeonjun free to press their mouths together more firmly. 

Did Kai miss this? Maybe, and he’s not sure exactly how much they can get away with in front of the staff, but based on previous experiences, he thinks they’re unlikely to interrupt. Yeonjun tilts his head until their lips slide smoothly against each other, digs his hand into Kai’s hair until he tightens his hold on his waist, flirts his tongue against Kai’s mouth until he’s let in for a kiss that has been a long time coming.

With Yeonjun, kissing is almost overwhelming in all the right ways, the smell of his perfume enhanced by the proximity, the hand against the back of Kai’s head just firm enough to ground him, the urgent push-and-pull Yeonjun creates that makes it seem that if Kai would lose control immediately if he doesn’t give enough, doesn’t take enough. 

He doesn’t think he can separate Yeonjun from the taste of Choco Mint Pocky in the future, and in that moment he doesn’t know if he’s going to spend the rest of his life avoiding it, or if he’ll use them like opportunities. 

When they part, Kai’s cheeks are rosy. There’s a moment of mutual—and necessary—silence. 

“Tastes good,” Yeonjun finally says, flashing a smile tinged with fondness. He leans in to whisper something into Kai’s ear, these next few words for nobody else—“like LA.” 

Kai startles, but Yeonjun already has an arm around his waist, pulling him to the room where the other members are waiting. He makes sure the furrow between his eyebrows and the downturn of his mouth is straightened out before the others see him, but. He thought Yeonjun had brushed it off as something meaningless, but it’s unlike him to bring a memory like that up again. 

“Alright, who gets Hueningie next?” Yeonjun starts showing him off like a piece of furniture, and Kai sighs into his hand.

Beomgyu squints. “Did you guys kiss?” 

Taehyun barely even spares them a glance. “Yup.” 

“Aww,” Yeonjun coos as he cups Kai’s chin. “Is he that obvious?” He doesn’t think he is, but Taehyun knows him too well. It’s a coin flip on whether or not Soobin can tell.

Beomgyu wrinkles his nose when he spies the box in Yeonjun’s grip. “I was going to say I can go next, but please tell me you didn’t play with mint choco Pepero.” 

“We didn’t,” Yeonjun says, feigning offense. “It’s Choco Mint Pocky.” 

“...” Beomgyu thumps the older on the shoulder. “That’s the same thing, you idiot.” He makes a face. “I’m not going next.” 

Yeonjun presses a proud hand against his chest. “I’m pretty sure it’s all kissed out, actually.” Kai has the decency to look slightly scandalized when he links his arm with Taehyun’s and pulls him out of the room. 

“LA?” Taehyun asks when they’re out of earshot. 

“Yeah,” Kai murmurs, not surprised that Taehyun remembers. “Strawberry?” 

“Yeah,” Taehyun echos. 

“Who do you think is going to eat most of these when we’re done?” 

“Staff?” Taehyun chuckles. “There’s way too many, even for Yeonjun-hyung and Soobin-hyung.” 

Kai hums in agreement as he tears open one of the packets. The director motions that they’re ready, and Kai places the biscuit end in his mouth. Taehyun really likes the strawberry icing. 

He doesn’t have to say anything out loud, he knows they’re going to kiss too, with a different sort of inevitability than Yeonjun. Here is someone who knows him better than himself sometimes, here is someone he’s spent so many of his late nights with, here is someone who understands his thoughts and purpose and flaws and turns that knowledge into equal parts weapon and shield. Weapon, when he determines the need to break down Kai’s defenses to get to his vulnerabilities, shield, when those vulnerabilities became too much and he just needed to escape from everything for a few sacred, brief moments.

Here—

is someone who knows him like the back of his hand.

Taehyun settles against Kai with familiarity, their arms comfortable on each other’s shoulders. He arches an eyebrow. 

_Should we at least pretend?_

Kai shakes his head slightly. 

_Nah._

There might be a tension that’s missing from his kiss with Yeonjun, but that’s because—

the strawberry Pepero is quickly bitten off in chunks—

—their lips meet—

the director says “Cut!”—

—and Taehyun raises the box to cover their faces.

That’s because with Taehyun, kissing is like breathing, natural and effortless (except when it’s not, like that one time when they were giggling under two blankets because they were trying not to wake up Soobin who had fallen asleep on their floor). 

Kissing is another language that they learned the words to together, after shared vocal training on their way home, in the early hours of the morning when neither of them could fall asleep, in the moments of calm when they’re alone and they look at each other and find home. 

Taehyun kisses him without further fanfare, pausing shortly to tease Kai’s bottom lip with his teeth. The kisses they shared before had been for the most part chaste, but the dramatics with the Pepero box covering them had to be justified, right? 

Kai smiles cheekily against him, not guessing his intentions but knowing them. He loops his arms more comfortably around Taehyun’s waist and kisses back purposely slow and strawberry sweet, lets Taehyun cup his face with his other hand to pull him just the slightest bit closer until the angle is perfect for the slide of their tongues to feel just slightly less innocent. 

“Beomgyu-hyung next?” Taehyun asks when they part, and Kai nods.

“Send him in. I’m going to take a look at the flavors, you know he’s picky.” Kai _thinks_ he saw vanilla, but he’s not sure.

Taehyun smiles. “Of course.” 

The boxes are a bit of a mess after two scenes already, but Kai finds the exclusive vanilla flavor perched precariously on the corner of the table. This time it’s Pocky again—he hadn’t known Pepero had such a limited selection until today. 

“You can choose a different flavor you know,” Beomgyu says behind him.

“Hyungie likes this flavor though.” Kai shrugs and smiles. “I like it too, anyway.” 

Beomgyu pats his shoulder. “Cute.” 

Kai turns around and tilts his head in assessment. Hmm. Maybe this was one he could win. “Not cuter than you.” 

Beomgyu immediately hits him on the arm. “Not another word out of you.”

Kai grins. He totally has this one. 

(But he’s still curious after all…) 

When the director signals they’re ready, Kai places one end of the Pocky in his mouth and nudges it against Beomgyu’s lips. Beomgyu is stiff all over, arms uniformly stuck to his sides and face looking faintly constipated. 

Kai talks slowly around the Pocky. “Your face will get stuck like that someday.” 

“Shut up,” Beomgyu says when he realizes he has to hold Kai’s shoulders for balance. “Oh my god, how did you do this with the other two?”

“I kissed them,” Kai says very honestly, and okay, that’s probably getting cut, but Beomgyu’s resulting squeak is worth it. 

“I am winning this,” Beomgyu says with absolutely zero confidence. He barely makes a dent in the Pocky, as if still hesitating on his plan of action. With him, it’s best to be ruthless. Kai neatly bites off half of the stick. Beomgyu’s eyes are large as he tries not to splutter. “Kai-yah” and “cheating” is all he can get out comfortably, and Kai smirks wickedly as he grips Beomgyu’s chin. 

“Beom,” he says, pitching his voice low, “I’m going to kiss you.” They’re at a somewhat respectable distance, but Beomgyu still jerks back violently. 

Kai waves the rest of the Pocky stick up in the air in victory. “Thanks for letting me win, hyung!” 

Beomgyu’s cheeks are flush with red when he jabs a finger into Kai’s chest. “This isn’t over,” he declares before stalking off with a prim sniff. 

“Grab Soobin-hyung for me,” Kai calls after him. He’d feel happy about his first win, if not for Soobin being next—and last. Soobin...is the one who makes him the most nervous. With everyone else, Kai had been more or less able to predict how the game would play out, but he’s at a loss with Soobin. Would...would he want to kiss again? And even if he did, would he want it filmed? He’s not that type of person. Kai bites his lip. He didn’t think he was himself, either. 

He doesn’t notice Soobin is next to him until a hand is at his elbow. 

“You okay?” Soobin asks casually, but Kai can feel the weight of his gaze. 

Kai shrugs, then raises his box at the same time Soobin does.

“Almond?”

“Cookies and cream?” 

“These are your favorite,” they both say at the same time, and Kai can hear the staff chuckling. No doubt this moment will make its way into the fanservice video. 

“You like me too much,” Kai teases, and instead of the easy rebuttal he expects, Soobin nods. 

“Maybe I do.” 

Kai tries to make it seem like he drops the Pepero back onto the table on purpose and not because he’s surprised. 

“Right, we’ll use cookies and cream then!”

If he gets any more nervous, he’ll start to sweat. Soobin doesn’t let go of him even when they step onto the filming platform. Kai’s focus has narrowed down to his touch, mind racing through every moment Soobin would grab him by the elbow like this, which was often. In the beginning it had often been to guide him through a crowd, short as he was back then, and post-growth spurt, Soobin started to use it as a means to get his attention quickly. More recently it had turned into a gesture of comfort, for himself or for Kai he wasn’t sure, though the truth was most likely somewhere in between. All Kai is sure of is that he likes it, a lot. 

“You didn’t kiss Beomgyu.” It’s more of a statement than a question, but one look into Soobin’s eyes tells him everything. 

“Beomgyu didn’t kiss me,” Kai corrects. He sees the director wave to start from his peripheral vision and smiles because he should.

“Are you going to kiss me?” 

“I don’t know.” 

(His love for Soobin is a very volatile thing. He tries not to provoke it to the best of his ability.) 

Soobin’s hand strokes his cheek before coming down to grip his chin, not dissimilar to the way he had on that We K-Pop episode that seems forever ago, now. Yet the intent is jarringly different.

Kai accepts the other end of the Pepero with hesitation, his hand on Soobin’s stomach to keep some semblance of space between them. It doubles as fanservice and as protection. 

It’s the slowest Pepero Game he’s played yet, agonizingly so. He’d think Soobin was doing it on purpose if not for the furrow between his eyebrows and the set in his mouth. Determined isn’t quite the right word, but that’s probably what it comes off like on camera. 

Kai thinks about pulling away when they get as close as they can possibly get without touching. It’d be on par with his usual reactions when Soobin flirts with him for fanservice, he’d always been the one to get flustered.

He also thinks about not pulling away, to let his feelings flirt with danger and risk kissing Soobin again. He unconsciously tightens his grip against Soobin’s shirt. 

Soon enough, like he always does, Soobin makes the decision for him. There is the slightest tug forward on his chin, and then their lips seal together. Soobin feels perfect against him. Kai immediately wants more. 

“Cut!” 

Soobin holds the kiss for another second, and Kai tries to blink away the disappointment when he lets go, tries not to purse his lips to stop feeling the phantom sensation of Soobin against them, tries and fails to school his expression into something acceptable before Soobin sees him. 

And before Kai can really process it, Soobin is pulling him off the set and down the hallway. They take the first turn, and at first Kai thinks they’re going into their old practice room, but no, he’s pressed against the wall next to the door. The lights are off inside. 

“Are you going to kiss me?” Soobin asks again. He lets go of Kai’s arm only to raise his hand up against his chest. Kai’s fingers sink into the soft cashmere and feel Soobin’s rapid heartbeat against his palm. His own heart, too, feels like some sort of wild animal rattling in its cage. He knows now why they’re in the hallway—no CCTVs. 

Kai wets his lips. “You want to,” he says slowly, having difficulty understanding his own words. “Why?”

Soobin leans closer, his breath fanning against Kai’s cheek now, his characteristic gentleness replacing the intensity that was there before. “You know why, Kai-yah. Whether or not you’re ready is another thing.”

“I don’t know,” Kai says again, feeling guilty when Soobin only looks at him understandingly. “If I’m ready.”

“Feelings are complicated,” Soobin murmurs. “You don’t have to—”

Feelings also make Kai a creature of impulse, because he surges up to slant his mouth against Soobin’s, desperate and delirious, hands fisting the front of Soobin’s sweater. Soobin holds him like he’s precious, one hand folding over his, holds him like he’s fragile, his other hand cupped tenderly around his cheek. 

With Soobin, kissing is the feeling of being needed.

It’s a mindless thing, kissing Soobin. For once his thoughts are blissfully blank as Soobin coaxes him into kissing like they had before, before Kai had decided he didn’t want to be the one to jeopardize their group. Kai parts his lips and Soobin’s tongue slides home. Something in the universe shifts. 

“Soobin-hyung,” Kai says breathlessly between kisses, “Soobin-hyung, I—”

Soobin presses a thumb over his mouth. “Only when you’re ready. Yeonjun-hyung told me you have a lot to figure out. Don’t rush. And,” Soobin kisses his nose, “give Beomgyu a chance later.” 

“Beomgyu-hyung?” he asks dizzily. “Thought he didn’t…” 

“Don’t think,” Soobin teases lightheartedly, his hand on Kai’s elbow again as the younger tries to smooth out the wrinkles he made in the sweater. “You two are no good when you think.” 

“Shut up hyungie.” Kai pouts. “Have fun with the rest of your games.” 

“Mhm.” Another kiss is pressed against Kai’s forehead. If he can allow himself, he could really get used to this. “Let’s go back.” 

Soobin leads Kai back into the waiting room. Nobody comments on them holding hands, which to be fair, isn’t something that’s usually abnormal. The only one there is Taehyun, so it must be Yeonjun and Beomgyu currently filming. The air conditioner is on full blast, and even Kai who rarely is affected by cold is shivering. He doesn’t protest when Taehyun and Soobin bundle him up in a blanket and set him down on the sofa, and he doesn’t notice that they’ve left until Beomgyu fills up his field of vision. 

“Kai-yah.” 

“Hmm?” Kai startles out of his daze. 

“I’m going to kiss you,” he announces, and he sounds a lot more confident than he looks with his sweater paws drawn up to his chest like that. 

Kai decides he doesn’t even want to ask ‘why’. Soobin has told him enough, hasn’t he?

“Okay hyungie. What are you waiting for?” 

Beomgyu huffs. “The audacity.” He motions for Kai to make room for him. Kai pulls Beomgyu into the space next to him and lets the blanket drape over them both.

And he learns that with Beomgyu, kissing is the quiet assertion of fondness, it’s the warmth that lingers. Kai thinks he wants to learn from him and the way he’s able to pour his emotions into something as simple as a kiss. 

Someone clears their throat. Beomgyu jumps, but Kai only cracks open an eye lazily to see who it is. 

“It’s only Yeonjun-hyung,” Kai murmurs before resuming their kiss, though he raises the blanket to cover them from prying eyes.

Yeonjun makes an indignant sound. “They move on so quickly these days,” he laments. Yeonjun is joking, but it still makes him feel better when Beomgyu squeezes their hands together. 

There’s still a lot to work through, but Kai knows he’ll have plenty of help.

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/yourcutiekai) & [ask](https://curiouscat.me/dracometria) >3<♡
> 
> i loosely based the interactions on the twitter poll i held about two hours before it ended, and at that point beomkai was tied 50/50 on whether or not they would kiss for the game so. i decided to write it this way for that reason! also my writing style is once again inconsistent scratches head. i hope this was an enjoyable read!


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